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7 TIPS TO WRITE YOUR OWN WEDDING VOWS

7 Tips to write your own wedding vows

Dear Bride & Groom,

You are busy preparing your symbolic wedding ceremony and you are losing sleep over the wedding vows part? Do not panic ! Here are 7 tips to help you write your wedding vows.

TIP N°1: FORGET THE PLANNING!

If you are used to draft « To do » lists to organise your daily life, when it comes to writing your wedding vows, forget the list! Writing your wedding vows has nothing to do with choosing the colour of the napkins. There is nothing more personal than your wedding vows therefore this highly important task requires time and setting yourself a deadline will only add to the stress. Of course, I am not advising you to scribble them down on a piece of kitchen roll 10 minutes before your ceremony. I am not advising to write them in a hurry between two household chores. What I mean is that you need to pick a moment when you feel relaxed and not rushed. Writing your wedding vows should be an enjoyable time rather than a chore.

TIP N°2: GO DOWN MEMORY LANE

Dig deep within your memories and ask yourself the following questions:

What did you feel the day you first met? Was it love at first sight?

How would you describe your relationship today? How have your feelings grown?

What your most vivid memories, good and bad?

What does your other half represent for you? What makes you love him/her?

What would your life be like without your soul mate?

What was his/her last little attention, gift?

Read back his/her letters, little notes, text messages & emails.

YOUR OWN WEDDING VOWS

TIP N°3: START WITH JUST A FEW WORDS

Do not persist in writing perfectly structured sentences immediately. Think about how you feel and write down a few words, adjectives, quotes which sum up your relationship, your emotions.

Once you are happy with your keywords, build your sentences around them. I have been a celebrant for over 7 years and it is exactly how I work: I get to know the couples, scribble down ideas and use these ideas to build the final scenario.

TIP N°4: PERSONALISE YOUR WEDDING VOWS

As I was saying earlier, there is nothing more personal than your wedding vows. I systematically offer my assistance when « my couples » require some help but I always draw their attention to the fact that they need to come up with key words so that the original ideas and emotions come from them. My role is then to help them formulate their feelings with the right words. Even if the internet is a very useful source of inspiration, try not to just copy and paste examples you find on the web as you may eventually be disappointed with the final result when you read them out loud to your other half as you will realize they do not actually express your very own feelings.

If a song has a particular meaning to you, do not hesitate to use part of it. It can also be a quote or a sentence that means something to you both. Finally, use your own words; your other half will without a doubt recognise your style and appreciate the fact that you wrote your vows with your heart.

TIP N°5: JUST A TOUCH OF HUMOUR

Most couples are not used to write their feeling on paper and are even less comfortable with expressing how they feel for each other in public. If some of them leave each other romantic notes, let’s admit it when we write to our partner it is more often to say “Don’t’ forget to fee the cat” or “There is some chicken left in the fridge”.

For that reason, some feel they would be more at ease if they used a fun approach. There is nothing wrong with using a touch of humour but less is more. The important thing is not to turn your love for each other into a joke. See this as THE opportunity to tell your soul mate how you feel about her/him. Save the embarrassing jokes for the evening speech.

TIP N°6: REHEARSAL, REHEARSAL, REHEARSAL

Reading your wedding vows with your eyes riveted to your note is hardly romantic, therefore make sure you take sufficient time to rehearse your vows as many times as necessary in order to be able to say them whilst gazing into your other half’s tearful eyes. This does not mean you cannot have your note in your hand but make sure you keep eye contact with your partner and remember to hold hands for the perfect connection during this very special moment.

TIP N°7: QUALITY OVER QUANTITY

A a general rule, a symbolic wedding ceremony lasts between 35 and 45 minutes depending on what you choose to include. I noticed that anything lasting over an hour tends to bore people including the bride and groom, particularly if the legal ceremony took place just before!

The same rule applies to your wedding vows. Allow no more than one or two minutes. Express what you feel strongly about, rehearse your tone in order to make your vows as authentic and heartfelt as possible. If you feel the need to say more things to your partner, you could write a letter, which you can offer during the ceremony with a ritual or after the ceremony.

If you are worried that your vows may be considerably shorter or longer than your partner’s vows, simply ask the question without discussing the content.

I hope you found this post helpful. You have a project of laic wedding, do not hesitate to contact us

Magali

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